


And I Can Cap Them All

by Zoya1416



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen, Harry Potter Houses, Sorting Hat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:25:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya1416/pseuds/Zoya1416
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gregor's amusing himself with an old children's book.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Can Cap Them All

Gregor pursued the discs of the children's books, amused. Old libraries all over the Nexus had decided to do spring cleaning, as it were, and librarians were searching for unwanted discs. Occasionally a treasure would turn up, and some specialist had put together children's stories which still seemed relevant. Whether it was a sword in a stone, talking animals in a bitter winter, a boy taming a Tau Cetan lizard and having adventures with it, or a young girl ensign and her jump pilot who survived a trip after everyone else had died, tales of swashbuckling, derring-do, and fights against the darkness surfaced and entertained once more.

These discs had come from Earth, dredged from a corner of the Bodleian library in Oxford, which still pottered on into its third millennium. Apparently there were vids, too, or once had been, which had used parts of the library as scenery. These weren't great literature, far from it, and Oxford had held its nose as it sold the rights. But the stories of courage, humor, and battle with ultimate evil found quite a good market.

The stories were set in a children's boarding school far kinder than his prep school had been, and far more exciting, because it was a school for magic. Wizard and witches, serpents, dragons, and a fascinating sport played on flying broomsticks, sprang into view.

From their very first night at the school children were separated—somewhat arbitrarily, it appeared--by a Sorting Hat, into four smaller houses. The book's hero and his friends all came from one house, so it was presented most completely and favorably. The rest allegedly had merit, too, though rarely acknowledged.

If he were doing the job—some people were right off the board. Serg and Ges had no place in a child's fantasy world, not even as the villains. 

But:  
“You might belong in Gryffindor,  
Where dwell brave of heart,  
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry  
Set Gryffindors apart.”

All the Vorkosigans, even by marriage, were Gryffindor, he decided. Barrayar had long benefited from their courage and daring. Even though chivalry was lacking in some—Piotr came to mind—they were all a daring band. Ivan Vorpatril was like the boy who was a figure of fun in the first books, but became the holder of the true sword in the last one. But Mark, poor damaged soul. A man with four distinct sub-personalities, one of them an assassin, didn't belong anywhere. 

“Or perhaps in Slytherin  
You'll make your real friends,  
Those cunning folk use any means  
To achieve their ends.”

He rapidly sorted his grandfather into this house. Ezar hadn't scrupled a minute for his plans, hiding assassination in genocide. He was a Slytherin who'd gone to the bad. But Simon Illyan was a Slytherin, too, a good one, clever and cunning as he held ImpSec togethey. Lady Alys was probably a Slytherin, too, he mused. Yes, she definitely was a fine one: a doyenne of style who was secretly a spy.

“You might belong in Hufflepuff  
Where they are just and loyal  
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true  
And unafraid of toil.”

The Koudelkas were Hufflepuffs if he'd ever seen any. This House seemed to be a marginal group in the books, but his Empire would never survive without legions of just and loyal people. The Vorkosigan's Dendarii hill folk were Hufflepuffs, too. These heroes were poor and lacking in material things, and he hoped Mark and his enterprises could turn them around.

He momentarily considered reclassifying Mark as a Hufflepuff, just for amusement. Then more seriously. The totem animal for this house was a badger, small and somewhat fat, with short legs. Badgers could be fierce enough to fight off much larger animals, such as wolves and bears, and had even been known to eat venomous snakes—like Ser Galen. Hmm.

He had no doubt where Dr.Duv Galeni and his own brilliant Laisa belonged. At last he imagined a dark hat slipping over his head, acknowledging his scientific mentality:

“If you've a ready mind,  
Where those of wit and learning  
Will always find their kind—  
Ravenclaw!”

He wondered whether anyone would notice if he got a tie in blue and bronze. Or a muffler. He mused on. They would make great Winterfair presents. He could just see Simon and Lady Alys, glinting at him over their green and silver...Miles would always love his red and gold. But yellow and black? No. Just--no. 

He carefully packed the discs back in their case.

**Author's Note:**

> I had absolutely no intention of sorting Mark anywhere, but then he appeared and demanded his space.


End file.
